Day 6— Courage

I read so much fantasy when I was a kid. (I still consume a lot of fantasy now).

I just could never resist a hero. The Hero’s Journey is ingrained in how I perceive the world, for better or for worse.

I think I’ve tried to hide this for a while, because the world is so complex and I am not blind to the grey. Yet I still believe in goodness, plain and simple — even with its infinite logical contradictions.

I’ve never really told anyone this I don’t think, but the reason I love running (one reason) is because I feel like I get to be the hero of my own story for some time. It’s just me against myself, and I want to show up and claim my glory.

I wonder if Courage is a daily practice too.

These Things I’ve spent time romanticizing… Bravery, Love. They are amalgamations of tiny things that maybe a couple times in a lifetime, get to manifest the way they do in the stories. Sometimes never. I think they most often show up in small, daily acts.

I still hope for a big moment where I get to be a hero. Pure vanity, or it feels wrong to feel that way (narcissism, psychology, yes I am self-absorbed). I want to save the day, like Miles in Spiderverse, but I don’t think I chase an epic moment the way I used to when I was younger.

Pain has been pouring through the world and just like everyone else, I’m scared. Scared for marginalized groups, for the economy, for lower-SES individuals. Domestic and Abroad. I don’t even know what kind of hero can save this, save us all.

and i don’t know if heroes save. That’s the thing about romanticization, right? It’s not like real life. Doctors can’t save everyone.

So maybe they — heroes — just help. They just wake up each day and commit themselves to helping again. Even with all the pain.

That sounds like something to strive for. and to all of you out there who dedicate yourselves to the service of others, thank you.